Love the hope, the sadness, the ecstasy and much more expressed in the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB67HO8tkQs

Ideal ways to debate/argue with people

I moved out of India at the age of 18 years old and took my first flight of life to a continent totally different from what I was used to. In those days, being a young and rather immature person I had so many things to learn and one of them was the right way to speak to people. Fortunately, I was surrounded by many students from different countries and from them, I learnt the art of polite way of communication. I most certainly try and practice it always even though at times the rudimentary habits do kick in which is not good for me and others. However they have influenced my communication skills in a big way and now I realize the importance of starting my requests with “can you please” more than anything else.

One of the things I did get to do with most of the people I met was to argue/debate with them regarding their views on many things in life, be it mundane stuff like which weather does someone prefer to why this world may not necessarily be a nuclear weapons-free world any time soon. The thing I have noticed is that how people end up making simple mistakes while talking or arguing about these things. Its one thing to want to talk and exchange ideas, but its another thing to do it in a polite and correct way where both the sides end up more knowledgeable from the discussion.

First thing is, please listen, it’s a debate and not a speech by you, unless and until it is actually a speech by you. There is no point in only one person speaking while others listening because even though it may feel like you are being very knowledgeable by speaking a lot, chances are that many are just listening to you out of politeness and not really caring about what you say.

Second thing which is a continuation of the above point, please don’t talk over someone else. That takes the debate nowhere when everyone is speaking over each other or for that matter one person is doing it to other. Not only does it show disrespect but also bad manners on one’s side.

Thirdly, I have noticed how many of the people these days seem to read up a lot on the internet and then form their opinions. Then armed with this knowledge they go out and try to test their theories; but when they are doing that, its more of an exercise to prove why their theory is right and others are wrong instead of actually taking that opportunity to take in the others views and correct and improve their own theories. I know a few people who do this a lot more than others, when you offer a counter argument or counter evidence to them, the criteria for the evidence suddenly becomes stringent and you end up thinking how is that even right? For me, when I have to come at a conclusion or decision regarding, say a certain political system, I read up on the internet about why it started, why it propagated, what are its failure, what are its advantages? Having read that, I will always take it with a pinch of salt because if I am reading it from a source which is in favour or against the system, their opinions will be coloured in that fashion. After that, I generally prefer to interact with as many people as possible and know their opinions and the reasons for their opinions. I will try to know opinions of neutral people (if they exist in this world). Having done that I will see if I can find any common point in most of the sides of the arguments and then think that a certain observation/conclusion is highly likely to be true. Of course there are many other ways to do it and to each is his own. However, what I find annoying is when the “intellectual” people having read one side of story go on about it and then refute any evidence, arguments that go against it by saying it doesn’t meet their imaginary criteria. One may say that these people are narrow-minded, or not so knowledgeable but the problem is sometimes they may not necessarily be that, its just that they don’t know where their mistake is. Hence maybe this might give an insight to the problem.

The fourth thing that I want to mention is that there is also a certain group of people who already have made certain assumptions and they want to talk to you just to confirm that assumption. Of course they have an open mind and then are willing to change it if you give them another compelling argument but what they don’t realize is that certain assumption can be offensive to certain people. Like this as an example, being an Hindu I have been asked this question a lot – “do I drink cow’s urine?” You may be surprised but it has been quite a conversation opener for many people in different cultures to whom I have been their first Hindu exposure. There are two ways to ask this question – “Do you drink cow’s urine because you are a Hindu?” or “I am sorry but I don’t want to offend you, I have been under the impression that Hindus drink cow’s urine because of their religious belief. Is that really true?” The second way even though is a longer way to get to the point, it shows that you are genuinely curious and not just assuming something and in fact shows that you are wanting to know the truth and not just wanting to confirm what can be a rather offensive stereotype. Just a bit of words play can make a lot of difference at what we are to achieve. For the record, my family has neither drank urine nor made me drink it and I won’t ever drink it by myself as well. 

Even though I say the above things and probably they may seem too obvious, mistakes do happen. I do realize that there is a lot of cultural difference and not everyone may agree to what I say. All I am saying is that if I were to be involved in an argument, I would prefer simple rules like above to be followed. I am certainly open minded to know any more rules/protocols/cultural modes used by others while debating/arguing as well.

What I wrote above is from my experiences and the points above are just my opinions. J

Signing out!

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Many of you must have heard this song. 

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.

And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life.

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life.

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life.

Memories from my childhood.

Today, its been more than 6 years since I left my home country for a foreign land in pursuit of my higher education which ended successfully a couple of months earlier. I read an email from my sister and somehow my brain linked some thoughts and took me back to the days when I and my sister used to be in secondary school, it was time when we were around 10 to 16 years old bracket. 

I still remember how we used to study for our exams. The whole time during the schooling days we used to just laze around, do our homework to keep ourselves out of trouble but it in no way helped us because TV was a constant companion defeating the whole purpose of the homework which was to make us learn something. Then the school used to announce our timetable for the exams. Ideally it used to be done 5 weeks prior to our main exams. That is when the panic used to set in. Fun and frolic was over and now material worth 3-6 months was to be crammed in 5 weeks along with normal schooling hours. My sister and I had a common study room which used to be our den for the following time until the exams were over. Since we both studied in the same room continuously for many many many many hours (such smart kids you know) we ended up always coming up with some new stuff to make us busy which we wouldn’t have even thought of normally. Like one time when we were fighting a lot over the use of the study table and the space in the room, I suggested we both draft a demand list on a paper and then we negotiate (yeah, I had such thoughts even when I was growing up). So having done with our respective papers, I made my sister sign my draft making her accept my demands but then denied signing on any of her demands, however I still insisted my rules be implemented since I had her signature which implied that she accepted my demands. Obviously this didn’t work when our parents came in the situation but it still was so much fun (for me of course) to annoy my sister “legally”.

One more thing many of our friends may have noticed is that I and my sister have god given ability to be able to laugh continuously on very trivial matters, on our best days no reason is good enough for us to laugh. And I don’t exaggerate when I say laughing continuously; unofficial records say that we have laughed up to 45 minutes without a break for no apparent reason. We both used to laugh so much that sitting at one place used to be impossible and the term “rolling on the floor laughing” or as popularly know “rofl” might have coined by our parents and somehow made famous in today’s generation lingo. The trouble used to be when our parents would be half-asleep thinking their children are burning the midnight’s lamp studying only to be awaken in the middle of the night to see their children lying on the floor without even being able to stop and say sorry or explain our plight.

Then we had one more favourite activity of ours. It was to use some poems from our textbooks, turn it into a song and make a dance routine on it. It was funny how only those poems stuck to our memory and everything else was awash the moment we set our pens on the desk after finishing the exam. We also planned a few pranks on our parents while “studying” but let’s not get into those and ruin our public images. However I can share one of my pranks on her. One day, I stood hid behind a door with a waist-belt tied around my neck and making its tip stand up so that it resembled a snake with its hood up. My sister, when she entered screamed out of fear, I am yet to know if it was because of me or the snake resembling belt but that is one incident I cannot forget. Since my sister was stronger and taller than me during a certain period of our life, these pranks always ended with me running away from her and her badly targeted things at me.

As I write this, I am taken back to our good olden days and today, I do realize in my own way why childhood days are quite possibly one of the most memorable days of one’s life. For I and my sister, those were the days when we could just talk to each other face to face, unlike now when emailing and web chats are the norm. Sometimes just for this to happen, I have to call my sister as she is a grown up and busy girl unlike me who is a busy boy (ok please people, get this joke and make my day).

This blog is dedicated to my fortunate sister, fortunate because she had the privilege to be my sister. Hahaha, if I won’t get a call from her after this statement, I don’t know what else will make her call me. 

My sister, me and our mother.

My view on the Apprentice show – US and UK version

I started watching The Apprentice show a few years ago when it had newly started. At that time I had a faint idea of what it was and didn’t really follow it. However as I kept on reading news and reviews about it, I thought I should try watching it again and maybe this time I will get what is the big deal about. My initial exposure was to the US version but later on tried the UK version as well due to suggestions by my British friend who thought UK was better than US version (I didn't truly believe him though).

But after watching almost all the series of both the US and UK versions until the latest episodes of the newest seasons, these are my thoughts about them.

US Version – 

                     1) There is a lot of money that is given to the contestants to execute the task.

                     2) Most of the tasks seem to be PR acts for the companies for which the contestants seem to work for.

                     3) There is a lot of focus on happenings which are not really concerned with the business task.

                     4) Donald Trump seems to make personal comments on people’s looks and that doesn’t seem to be much in good taste.

                     5) Donald Trump always speaks in superlatives about the task, the company, the products while describing them the tasks.

                     6) The music used on the show doesn’t really add much to the show.

                     7) When Donald Trump fires a candidate, many a times it seems sudden, as in there is a conversation or debate happening and suddenly we hear the dreadful words “You’re fired”.

                     8) I loved the first celebrity apprentice season.

                     9) Ivanka Trump is a really attractive woman (I had to add that).

UK Version – 

                      1) The tasks are well set and truly do seem to test the contestants adaptability – like starting with the initial episode where they have to buy and sell stuff with minimal amount.

                      2) I like two of their tasks especially – one when they have to buy stuff by negotiating the prices and the second one where the task is set in foreign land with generally minimal English usage.

                      3) I love all the British accents.

                      4) Lord Sugar is really witty and knows how to dissect the contestant’s views, opinions, defences and offences.

                      5) The focus of the show is truly on the tasks and the activities, one of the brilliant pieces of editing done by them was when two contestants had a fight, they showed a bit in the beginning                               and then covered with brilliant music highlighting the feud but sparing us the embarrassment of bad language and ill tempers.

                      6) The music used on the show is phenomenal.

                      7) Lord Sugar, before firing a contestant, does a good assessment of them and gives their strengths and weaknesses which is nice and educative.

                      8) I have rarely seen contestants raising their voices in the boardroom, seems a lot more professional than the some of the episodes from the US version.

                      9) The interview round seems to be rather harsh on candidates and I would dread to attend such interviews as shown on the show.

However I have to admit both shows work and entertain in their own way and if anything they give us a glimpse of the work ethics and the way to get things done in these two countries. 

Two stories that I would like to share with you.

I read this story some where; maybe many of you are familiar with this story already.

There was this new 500 bill that was made. Initially when it was new and beautiful everyone was amazed at it and admired it which made the bill happy about itself and quite proud. Then time went on and on and it got older and was no more special which started hurting the pride of the bill. One day it dropped of the pocket of its owner and laid in the snow, people stamped on it and it got wet and muddy. It started feeling it is of no worth anymore. But suddenly one day it got a bit bright and a little kid lifted it up and was very happy to see a 500 bill in his hand, afterall its such a big amount for a kid and the bill itself was amazed how valuable it can be to someone.

The moral of the story is no matter whoever stamps on you or puts you down, no matter how you feel bad and down at times, the real value of your stays the same no matter what.

=====================================================

Once a boy from a village was packing up to move to the city for his new job he was about to start. His father was talking to him.

Father: Son, the most important virtue that a man can possess is patience. If you have it, you will be very successful in life.

Son: Yes dad, I will be very patient in my life.

Father: There are many things that will test you in life, patience is one thing that will get you through these tests.

Son: Yes dad, I agree with you.

Father: Never underestimate the importance of patience, you will not achieve much without it.

Son: Dad, I know that and I have patience.

Father: I have seen too many talented people waste their lives because they didn’t have patience when they were young, I don’t want that to happen to you.

Son: (teeth grinding) No dad, it won’t happen with me as I do have patience.

Father: Great men, if they could advise you something will surely tell you patience is one of the most important qualities in life that one must have.

Son: (shouting) Dad, now stop it. How many times do I have to tell you that I have patience? Now let me do my work or else I will miss the bus to the city.

Father: Son, I just tried to reinforce the importance of patience in 5 different ways and yet you lost your patience, imagine how difficult it will be when you are truly tested with it?

Our patience will achieve more than our force. - Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

Indian news media and its ridiculousness.

Having grown as a impressionable youngster with keen interest in world happenings, i was always interested in reading news and following it on TV. In the 1990's when cable TV was still a distant dream for many people in India, i got my share of TV news from our national broadcaster and state broadcaster which were funded by taxpayers money. It consisted of a smartly dressed with slight make up news reader (mostly women or at least thats whom i remember) reading through pages of news without barely any emotions was quite a sight. Then as i grew up we started subscribing to English newspapers which always had genuine headlines with ads thrown in between very sparsely. The more i think about it, the more it sounds very boring, dull but substance oriented with  no frills.

And i am now in 2010 when news channels and newspapers keep sprouting in equal ratio to our ever increasing population and corruption scandals. The highest selling newspaper in India : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/
and most watched news channel : http://aajtak.intoday.in/ have changed things so drastically that it is unbelievable. Both of these news companies 15 years ago were what i described previously. Now our beloved TimesOfIndia (TOI) has been able to churn news headlines which bordered on absolute ridicule like Sachin Tendulkar (world's greatest contemporary batsmen in Cricket) being hit on helmet by a ball in practice (because its something that is totally unthinkable) to direct insult to a self-respecting person's intelligence with news headlines like Amitabh Bacchan (Bollywood's iconic actor) getting cold has brought the levels of news reporting seriously down. On the other hand i have seen Aaj Tak reporting news about how Salman Khan (another Bollywood actor) was chased by dogs in his locality for a 30 minute long programme which consisted of his photos being displayed repeatedly to different songs of his movies and being commented on the background by a guy who reiterated himself saying that his car was chased by a couple of dogs when he drove into his locality. Hardly "news-worthy" is an understatement to such reporting is what i would say.

So why do such reputable companies indulge in such mockery of freedom of press? One of the most common arguments given by people is that because people watch it and love it which brings them money. However i have always found this argument faulty. One of the reasons why people follow this is because they really have no alternative. One would say that this statement contradicts my above observation of us being "blessed" by numerous sources of news via print and TV. However what one misses the point is that every news channel and most of the newspapers come out with the same strategy so it doesn't even matter if you change your channel or your newspaper, you are still going to be bombarded with the same stuff with different brand name. It amuses me how everyone who starts a new venture just wants to follow a tried-and-tested formula instead of being a bit more adventurous and try something new. Of course in today's capitalism driven world where profit drives everything, people may not afford to mess around with a successful combination but why not do it in an intelligent manner and start a possibly slow but eventually long journey with some sense of pride than follow mindless buffoons with a false self satisfaction that you are giving what people are wanting.

Why cannot our foreign-educated, high college fees paid media students think of this angle and do something new in it? Is it really that complicated to follow it?